Color Bleach Funnies
by TheEndToItAll
Summary: Bleach funnies from the book, 'Color Bleach'.
1. Chapter 1: Comics 1 & 3

**Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach or the book 'Color Bleach' (ok maybe I own it because I bought a copy the other day, but that's not what I mean.)**

**Manuscript 1: Korean Barbeque Battle Royal at the Kurosakis**

Karin and Isshin were fighting noisily with chopsticks.

"Stay outta this area, Whiskers!" Karin yelled as she snapped her father's chopsticks.

"Hey! You broke them! You broke Daddy's renowned chopsticks! How could you Karin? How could you?" Isshin exclaimed.

"Shut up! They're hostages because you invaded my territory!" Karin replied, now clearly annoyed. Yuzu came up to Ichigo and put ribs on his plate, which was already piled high with vegetables.

"These are for you, too, Ichigo. You should eat your vegetables." She said as she carefully put the ribs on the mountain of veggies. Ichigo just looked at his father and his sister as if to say, 'What the hell?'

**Manuscript 3: Spring at Urahara Shoten**

"Hello!" Yuzu said, popping her head in the shoji door of Urahara Shoten. Jinta was standing inside, sweeping.

"Whoa! Y-y-you're back!" Jinta exclaimed, immediately blushing. (Everyone knows Jinta has a crush on Yuzu)

"Uh-huh!" She said cheerfully. "Your snacks are cheaper than the supermarket's!"

"The usual 500-yen worth, right?" Jinta asked as he frantically filled a bag with snacks. "Here!"

"I've been thinking," Yuzu began, holding the bag which looked about to explode. "Isn't that too much?"

"No way! You're crazy! Now get lost!" Jinta shouted in reply.

"Thank you!" Yuzu called in a singsong tone. "I'll be back!"

"And don't you ever come back, you twerp!" Jinta called back.

Kisuke, Tessai, and Ururu peeked out the door.

"Hmmm..." Kisuke muttered.

**A/N: That was manuscripts 1 & 3. 2 was inappropriate. It was titled 'Chizuru's Summer Homework'. Being Chizuru, you can probably imagine why I couldn't put it. :)**


	2. Chapter 2: Comic 4

**A/N: It's back! Color Bleach Funnies! **

**Manuscript 4: Nanao Ise's Valentine's Day**

"Nana-oooooo!" Captain Kyoraku said sweetly, as he danced up to his Liutenant. "Do you know what day it is? In the world of the living, it's Valen-"

"I know." Nanao replied sternly. "You told me last year and the year before that. As I've told you many times, I am not interested in such traditions. I'm sorry." The captain stood there sadly, and watched as Nanao walked away. He began to follow her. As she walked up the stairs, he hid around the corner. As she sat in a resturaunt, he peeked through the window. As she went into the ladies' room, she noticed him.

"Stop following me!"

Captain Kyoraku laid his head on his desk and sighed dramatically.

"Huh? What's wrong Captain?" Tatsufasa Enjoji asked. "Got cramps? Chasing women too much for ya? Kidding! Pfft! That joke was my masterpeice!"

In the Squad 8 kitchen, Rangiku was standing with Nanao.

"Oh, Nanao." Rangiku sighed. "It's made. Give it to him. Last year's was crap, but this year's came out good."

"Please be quiet, Rangiku." Nanao said, standing at the counter top.

"You're stuck now because you wrote that on the chocolate." Rangiku said, holding up her whisk, which was covered in icing.

"Shut up!" Nanao said furiously. [Zoom in to Chocolate] The chocolate said 'Obligation'.


	3. Chapter 3: Comic 5

**A/N: Color Bleach is so cool! There are so many funny comics in it!**

**Manuscript 5: The Thirteen Court Guard Squads Game (Dialouge Form)**

Head-Captain: I am considering using all the available resources of the Soul Society to release a video game. Therefore, I would like each squad to come up with an idea for the game by tomorrow. So, put your heads together.

**Squad 11**

Kenpachi: How about one where the main character goes around cutting down everything from people to telephone poles to bugs?

Ikkaku: And...how do you clear the game?

Kenpachi: The game is over when there's nothing left to cut down.

Ikkaku: Over? Then there's no clearing the game! You, stop running around!

~He grabs Yachiru by the head, who was running around like she was drunk (she probably had too much konpeito candy ;D)~

**Squad 12**

Mayuri: A scientific dissection game! What else could it be?

Nemu: Yes, Lord Mayuri.

Mayuri: Dissecting and experimenting on everything from people to pigs to bugs!

Nemu: That's genius, sir.

Mayuri: The game's over when there's nothing left to dissect!

Nemu: That's perfect, sir.

~Ikkaku and Yumichika are peeking in the window~

Ikkaku: Their idea is not unlike ours.

**Squad 8**

Shunsui: How about a game where girls from all over the Soul Society confess their love for me?

Nanao: What a romantic game that would be. And what happens after they confess their love?

Shunsui: What happens would be so intense, I don't dare say it! Shame on you, Nanao!

Nanao: That's no good. We can't sell anything with unmentionable material.

**Squad 6**

Byakuya: Hmmmm...How about an extremely wealthy character who goes around buying up properties and companies, one after another?

Renji: Uh...Would that be fun?

Byakuya: True. It's too much like real life to be fun.

~Head-Captain Yamamoto reads the ideas for a little bit, then throws them in the air in frustration.~


	4. Chapter 4: Comics 6 & 8

**Manuscript 6: The Zanpaku-to's Secret**

"Huh?" Shuhei asked, confused.

"So...like I said, what am I supposed to do when my Zanpakuto breaks?" Renji asked the Liutenant of Squad 9.

"Did it break?" Shuhei asked.

"IF it breaks. Are you even listening?"

"I don't know. I guess you just have to wait patiently for it to heal itself."

"What if you need it fixed right away?"

"I could fix it...for a fee."-(This is not Shuhei's voice...)

"C-Captain Kurotsuchi!" Shuhei and Renji said in unison. They were suprised to have the creepy captain of Squad 12 approach them unexpectedly.

"So?" He (Kurotsuchi) asked.

"N-no thanks." Renjis stuttered, thinking of what this psycopath might do to Zabimaru.

"Hmph. Don't be shy. Take a look through my catalouge." Kurotsuchi said, handing them a book. "Zabimaru is a monkey, so option 4 would be available. But it would cost you."

"You mean..." Renji started. "You can change it's gender? I'm sold!" [Zoom into catalouge] There is a picture of a large breasted woman in a green fur dress with a nametag that says 'Zabimaru'.

**Manuscript 8: Rangiku's Accurate Horoscope**

"Captain, Captain!" Rangiku exclaimed, holding a horoscope book. "When is your birthday again?"

"December 20." He answered after a moment's pause.

"Why did you hesitate?" Rangiku asked.

"Because. It's suspicious. Why the sudden interest in my birthday? What's the book about?"

"Horoscopes. It's what humans do for fun. December 20 means you're a Sagittarius."

"Stop playing and do your work."

"I'm studying the human world. Sagittarius, Sagittarius..."

Toshiro looked annoyed.

"GAAH!" Rangiku exclaimed.

"What?" Toshiro asked, clearly very annoyed.

"It says Sagittarius will have the worst luck in the second half of the month! Everything you do will fail, and you'll be annoyed all the time!"

"Sounds about right. I'm definitely annoyed now. Because a certain someone won't get off her butt and work-"

"Aha!" Rangiku interuppted him. "To rid yourself of terrible luck, eat a boatload of mitarashi dango dumplings! I'll go buy some right now! Hold on, Captain!"

"Wait!" Toshiro shouted after his Liutenant. "RANGIKU!"

**A/N: Hope you liked these two, 'Cuz there's a ****boatload**** more silly comics to come! Did you like my pun? BTW, I didn't put Manuscript 7 in because it has alot of pictures.**


	5. Chapter 5: Comic 11

**Manuscript 11: The Thirteen Court Guard Squads Game Part 2**

Head-Captain: Part two of our game is going to be released. The time has come to show what we can do. I want you to put your heads together. Do not embarass me again.

**Squad 4**

Unohana: How about a game in which we heal the sick and wounded?

Isane: That's a perfect idea, Captain! And if they refused treatment, it would make for an interesting game!

Unohana: I would not treat anyone like that.

Isane: But isn't the object of the game to treat people?

**Squad 7**

Komamura: A cat. A game in which you have a cat for a pet.

Tetsuzaemon: What?

Komamura: What's wrong?

Tetsuzaemon: Um, uh...It's just a bit suprising. A cat? Are you sure?

**Squad 2**

Soi Fon: Me and Yoru-

Marechiyo: Could you please not involve Yoruichi?

~Soi Fon turns around and glares at Marechiyo~

Marechiyo: Huh? What's with that look? You can't bully me like that! No one would play that game but you!

**Squad 10**

Toshiro: Hmph! A game? How stupid! I'm not a little kid! Rangiku, you deal with this.

Rangiku: Okay! How 'bout a game about a voluptuous girl who becomes a soul reaper? Okay! I'll go submit it in your name, Captain!

Toshiro: Wait! I'll think of something!

~Head-Captain Yamamoto reads the ideas for a little bit before throwing them into the fire~

**A/N: Some pretty silly ideas, huh? Reveiw please!**


	6. Chapter 6: Comic 12

**Manuscript 12: An Assassin in the Kuchiki Household**

~Yachiru is standing in front of the Kuchiki Estate.~

Yachiru: Byakuya! Let's play!

Male Servant: Why, if it isn't Lieutenant Kusajishi. How can I help you today?

Yachiru: I came to take a peek at Byakuya's private life! He finished first today in the Society of Female Soul Reapers' poll... 'Which Captain Should Release a Photo Book'?

~In the sitting room~

Male Servant: Sir?

Byakuya: Serve her some refreshments and send her away.

~Yachiru jumps on Byakuya's back~

*BOING*

Yachiru: Are you reading? What are you reading? Manga?

Byakuya: ...

~Byakuya grabs a bag of Konpeito candy, opens the window, and throws a bunch of candy out the window~

Yachiru: YAYz!

~Yachiru flys out the window after the candy~

Byakuya: Lock the doors.

Male Servant: Yes sir!

~Society of Female Soul Reapers HQ~

Isane: What? He kicked you out? So why do you look so satisfied.

Rangiku: She failed. Who should we send next?

Soi Fon: How about Nanao?

Kiyone: She's perfect! I bet they'd have lots to talk about!

Nanao: What are you all up to...

**A/N: **_**This has got to be my favourite one! You have just got to love Yachiru.**_


	7. Chapter 7: Comic 14

**Manuscript 14: A Life-Size Present**

~Jushiro walks into Toshiro's office~

Ukitake: Good morning, Captain Hitsugaya!

Toshiro: Captain...Ukitake...What can I do for you?

Ukitake: You don't know? Why, today's your birthday! Want a lollipop?

Toshiro: No.

~Ukitake pulls out a bag of candy and puts some on the desk~

Ukitake: Ha ha, of course, of course.

Toshiro: ...

Ukitake: Well, I'll leave your present here!

~Ukitake leaves~

Toshiro: What? W-wait a second, Ukitake! Don't leave it here! Ukitake! Ukitake! That jerk. He never listens to anybody.

~He pulls the sheet off the 'present', to reveal a life-size doll of himself.~

Toshiro: Eww. What's this?

(Sakura-chan: A doll of yourself, stupid! LOL, JK. You know I love you, Shiro.)

~In the department of research and development~

Ukitake: Byakuya's birthday is next month! Make a Byakuya doll next, okay?

Akon: Yeah, sure.

Random R&D Girl: Another man? I wanna make a girl!


	8. Chapter 8: Comic 16

**Manuscript 16: Operation Photograph Byakuya (Nemu and Isane)**

*Klunk (Bamboo rotary thingy-me-bobber)*

~Byakuya has just made a gigantic (and I mean gigantic) calligraphy~

Male Servant: Brilliant, sir.

~A secret door opens in the wall to reveal Nemu and Isane, who have a camera~

Nemu: Say 'Butter'.

Isane: It's 'Cheese'.

*click click click click*

Nemu: Captain Kuchiki, 'Butter'.

Isane (panicking): It's 'Butter'! I mean 'Cheese'! Run!

~Nemu and Isane dash out the window~

~Byakuya snaps his fingers~

Byakuya: Seize them.

~A bunch of Kuchiki guards tackle them~

Isane: Waaaah!

Byakuya: I do not know what your game is, but the moment you targeted me...

Isane: Aaah! Captain Kuchiki! Captain Kurotsuchi is taking apart the camera and eating it!

Nemu: Make him stop...

**First Squad: Nemu Kurotsuchi and Isane Kotetsu**

**MISSION FAILED (big time!)**


	9. Chapter 9: Comic 17

**Manuscript 17: How Do You Read '****銀のトンボのめがね"****? **

~At the eyewear place Renji goes to~

Renji: This is it...the eyewear place I go to!

Ichigo: Eyewear...Sil-

Renji: What? Can't you read the sign? I thought you were good at Japanese!

Ichigo: Wait, I know it...the name has the kanji for insect in it, so it must be some kind of bug...

Renji: I'll give you a hint. This bug makes you think of glasses.

Ichigo: Oh! Silver Slug!

Renji: What part of a slug reminds you of glasses?

Ichigo: Oh! Wait, wait..it's Silver Cicada!

Renji: What does a cicada have to do with glasses? Besides, a cicada only has one kanji! Don't give me that I-Told-You-I-Knew look! It ticks me off!

Ikkaku: Huh? What are you guys doing? Oh, trying to figure out the name of the store? I know it. It's Silver Cockroach.

Renji: Who'd name a store after a cockroach? You, too, Ichigo! Don't gimme that Oh-Of-Course look!

Ikkaku: That isn't it? Then how about Silver Slug?

Ichigo: I already said that one.

Renji: What do you mean 'then'? You said you knew! I can't believe you both said slug!

Ikkaku: Silber Giant Silk-Worm Moth!

Renji: Too long!

Ichigo: Silver Athlete's Foot Fungus!

Renji: That's not even an insect! Get outta here!

Store Manager: Would you all please leave? You're scaring away my clients.

**(BTW, the store's name is Silver Dragonfly Eyewear.)**


	10. Chapter 10: Comic 18

**Manuscript 18: Ukitake's Misfortune**

~Soi Fon and Kiyone are running through the forest approaching Ukitake's house. Soi Fon is in the trees~

Soi Fon: Kotetsu...

Kiyone: Y-Yes?

Soi Fon: You want to photograph Ukitake, don't you?

Kiyone: I DO!

Soi Fon: You needn't get so excited. I have a plan. Listen...

Kiyone: I'll listen if you come down here!

~Ukitake's House~

Ukitake: Hmmm...I can't tell if it's better or worse (His Bonsai trees). Time for a cup of tea.

'Mysterious' Voice: It's no surprise that you have an old man's hobby, Ukitake.

~A bunch of kunai pins him to the tree~

Ukitake: S-Soi Fon? Kiyone, too? What's this all about?

Soi Fon: Sorry, Ukitake. No hard feelings.

~Soi Fon takes out her sword and starts cutting up Ukitake's clothes~

Soi Fon: Don't move.

Ukitake: AAGH! What are you doing? Hey!

Soi Fon: Down here, too?

Kiyone: I'm sorry, Captain! I'm sorry!

Ukitake: Stop apologizing while you're taking photos, Kiyone!

~Kiyone and Soi Fon proceed to leave~

Ukitake: Wait! You're going to leave me here like this? Kiyone? Soi Fon? I'll catch a cold! Hey!

Kiyone: Sob...Thank you, Captain Soi Fon. I'll cherish this forever.

Soi Fon: Remember what we discussed.

**The Soi Fon and Kiyone Squad: Sucess! :D**


	11. Chapter 11: Comic 19

**Manuscript 19: Who Will Be the Next Victim?**

Ukitake: Ah...ah...ah...Oh. My sneeze went away. It's spring, but it's still chilly when you're half naked.

~Yoruichi pops over the roof~

Yoruichi: Ukitake, does anyone in your squad know how to make something called a pancake?

~She notices his sticky situation~

Yoruichi: Oh, sorry.

Ukitake: WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT!

~later~

Yoruichi: Oh. I'm sorry. I thought you were enjoying some personal time.

Ukitake: Don't even joke about that. It's not my thing.

Yoruichi: Oh. I see. Then it was your partner.

Ukitake: There was no partner! It was Kiyone and Soi Fon!

Yoruichi: Hmm...

Ukitake: I don't know why, but they took alot of pictures. Be careful, Shihoin.

Yoruichi: Don't call me that. It's embarrassing.

Ukitake: They'll probably come after you next!

Yoruichi: Really? ~Evil grin~


	12. Chapter 12: Comic 20

**Manuscript 20: Capturing Yoruichi**

~Yoruichi is bathing under a waterfall when Kiyone and Soi Fon come up~

Soi Fon: There she is! That's Lady Yoruichi!

Kiyone: ...

Soi Fon: You remember the plan, right?

Kiyone: Yes...

Soi Fon: Let's go!

Kiyone: M-Ms. Yoruichi! I'm Kiyone Kotetsu, Third Seat of Thirteenth Squad! I've been a fan of yours for a long time! Can I have your autograph?

Soi Fon's Thoughts: She's bound to drop her guard for a fan! And while she's distracted...photo op!

Yoruichi: Oh, all right. Gimme...that.

~She de-caps the pen, shooting the cap into the tree, so hard that it knocks Soi Fon out~

*THUD*

Yoruichi: Huh? Sorry, Soi Fon. I had no idea you were up there.

Soi Fon: Yes...uh...um...Please Lady Yoruichi! No!

Yoruichi: You think you can fool me? These eyes miss nothing! Ha ha ha ha ha!

~Kiyone is terrified~

*THWAK BASH WHAM*


	13. Chapter 13: Comic 26

**Manuscript 26: New Year's at the Shibas'**

Ganju: Hey guys!

~Ganju busts through the door to reveal his gang~

Dude 1: Oh. Hey, Boss.

Dude 2: Hey.

(Sakura-chan: For the life of me, I cannot remember their names. Someone please tell me!)

Ganju: You guys showed up at just the right time!

Dude 2: It's you who just got here, boss.

Ganju: I've got great news! Do you know what the year 2007 is?

Dude 1: 2007? You mean, as in, astrology?

Ganju: That's right! In the world of the living, there's something called a zodiac! Every year has it's own animal mascot! And guess what this year's is?

Dude 1: Huh? Uh...the wolf.

Dude 4: The polar bear.

Dude 3: The cricket.

Dude 2: The duck.

Ganju: None of them are even in the zodiac! You're just naming your favourite animals! Never mind that! Doesn't anyone like wild boars? 2007 is...the year of the boar and my precious Bonnie!

Dude 1: I see. So you made New Year's cards with Bonnie on them and you wan help delivering them.

Ganju: Yeah! So I want you to...Wait! I do but...how'd you figure it out so fast?

Dude 2: Let's not and say we did. It'll be a huge pain in the butt and nobody wants a card like that anyway.

Ganju: What are you talking about? Everyone's gonna love them! There's no doubt about it! Listen! 'Give unto others what you would have others give unto you!' That's the Shiba family motto! My sister's hammered it into me since I was a little kid!

Dude 2: But you were also given a big snake as a kid and it almost killed you.

Ganju: Forget it! I'll deliver them myself!

~Rukia's House~

Ichigo: Uh...thanks.

~Rukia's eating REALLY stretchy mochi~

Ganju: What kind of weak thank you is that?

Ichigo: Oh. Did I say it wrong? Thank you.

Ganju: Why you!


	14. Chapter 14: Comic 28

**Manuscript 28: The Society of Female Soul Reapers Mystery**

*Klump klump klump*

Byakuya: What are you doing?

Yachiru: Oh Bya-kun! This is my new scooter!

Byakuya: I asked what you're doing.

Yachiru: Ikkaku made it for me for my birthday! It goes really, really, really fast!

Byakuya: It does, eh? But why are you riding it in my house?

Yachiru: Because there's so much room!

~Yachiru rides off really fast~

Byakuya's thoughts: I see. Even if I could tell her to stop, she wouldn't listen. How does she sneak in every time?

~Random hidden door opens~

Nemu: Chairwoman, your tea is ready.

Yachiru: Yay! What's today's snack?!

Nemu: We'll be having konpeito candy today, Chairwoman Yachiru.

Yachiru: Yay!

Nanao: Chairwoman, please take your seat! And wash your hands!

~Byakuya appears in the door~

Rangiku: Hey, Captain Kuchiki! Would you please knock before entering?!


	15. Chapter 15: Comic 29

**Manuscript 29: A Backroom Meeting of the Society of Female Soul Reapers**

Nanao: Jump Festa. Ever hear of it?

Rangiku: Yeah, yeah, of course! It's a hopping festival!

Nanao: If you don't know, just say so. Jump Festa is a festival held every year in the world of the living for a magazine called Jump.

Rangiku: A festival for a magazine? Sounds boring.

Nanao: So you would think! But Jump Festa is huge! It attracts on average 150, 000 people!

Everyone: Wow...

Nanao's thoughts: They're still not impressed.

Nanao: Titles published in Jump have the right to set up stalls at Jump Festa! And Jump just so happens to feature a series the chronicles the work of the Thirteen Court Guard Squads!

Rangiku: Really?!

Nanao: If you don't know about it, check it out for yourselves!

~Nanao tosses Rangiku an issue of Shonen Jump~

Nanao: However the Thirteen Court Guard Squads have yet to set up stalls at Jump Festa! This is a serious matter!

Rangiku: Hey! We aren't even in this that much!

Nanao: Rukia Kuchiki of Squad Thirteen and Renji Abarai of Squad Six are in it all the time! In any case...we're going to do whatever is necessary to set up stalls for the Thirteen Court Guard Squads at this year's Jump Festa! Therefore, each squad must come up with a proposal right away for a product to sell at the stalls! That is all! Dismissed!

**TO BE CONTINUED!**

**A/N: **_**This chapter and the next six chapters have been and will be written in the spirit of Jump Festa! ^^**_


	16. Chapter 16: Comic 30

**Manuscript 30: Operation Thirteen Court Guard Squads Stalls 1, 2, & 3!**

Squad 1

Head-Captain: Hmm...a stall for each squad at a festival in the world of the living eh?

Nanao: We were hoping to hear your ideas on how the Thirteen Court Guard Squads can captivate the youth of the world of the living!

Head-Captain: Very well...I will make some tea and..

Nanao: Clear out! Squad 1 will not be participating!

Squad 2

Soi Fon: Yorui...how about cat-shaped candy?

Marechiyo: What?! Again? Lady Yoruichi isn't even in our squad anymore!

~Soi Fon stabs him with a kunai~

Marechiyo: Waaaaaaaaah! You're really stabbing me! You're actually stabbing me a little! Okay, wait! I know! Normal candy won't do! It has to be irresistible!

Soi Fon: Then buy some jewelrey and stick it in the candy.

Marechiyo: Huh?!

Squad 3

Izuru: A stall in the world of the living? Sounds good, if you get to do it...I'm sure it will be fun, heh heh.

Rangiku: What are you talking about? You're helping, too!

Izuru: I can't. I'm not popular like Captain Ichimaru. About 90 percent of our squad likes you. Maybe you should make and sell something related to the captain...like a fox-shaped bean-jam bun.

Rangiku: So that's how you think of Gin.


	17. Chapter 17: Comic 31

**Manuscript 31: Operation Thirteen Court Guard Squads Stalls 4 & 5!**

Squad 4

Unohana: Fourth Squad's special nutritionally fortified soup. That's final.

Rangiku, Nanao, and Hanataro: Y-Yes, ma'm.

**Squad 4's Special Nutritionally Fortified Soup! It can bring the dead back to life!**

**EXTRA! Hanataro's Pill-Shaped Chocolate!**

Squad 5

Momo: Um...I-I made these when I heard we'd be setting up a stall. They're cookies shaped like glasses.

Nanao: W-Wow! They're great!

Rangiku: Y-yeah! What a shame to eat them! They're so well made!

Nemu: Yeah. They remind me of Captain Aiz-

~Nanao and Rangiku slap their hands over Nemu's mouth~

Nanao: Anyway, great work, Hinamori!

Rangiku: Really! Good job! Really!

Yachiru: ..."I will stand at the top."

~Crunches glasses in half, Momo passes out~

*Thud*

Nanao: Hinamori?!

Rangiku: Yachiru!

(Note: If you don't know why this made Momo faint, it's because this is what Aizen did before he left for Hueco Mundo.)


	18. Chapter 18: Comic 32

**Manuscript 32: Operation Thirteen Court Guard Squads Stalls 6 & 7!**

Squad 6

Renji: So...they're going to set up stalls for a festival in the world of the living.

Rikichi: I see.

Renji: I like taiyaki cakes, but is that too boring?

Rikichi: Maybe. But if it had a different shape...

~Byakuya appears in the open window~

Byakuya: I may be able to come up with an idea for you.

~He pulls out a picture of the Seaweed Ambassador from his scarf~

Byakuya: I happen to have a drawing of a character I created called the Seaweed Ambassador.

Renji's thoughts: Hey, I know this character...

Byakuya: A cake in the shape of this character would truly represent Squad 6.

Renji and Rikichi's thoughts: WHAT?!

Squad 7

Tetsuzaemon: Hmm...no.

Tetsuzaemon's thoughts: I tried hard to include an image of our captain in Squad 7's product, but my drawing failed to capture the captain's strength and dignity!

~He is holding a cartoony drawing of a wolf~

Tetsuzaemon: I've been having a hard time. Can you give me any advice?

Komamura: Hmm...what if you wrote 'Ruff' next to it?

Tetsuzaemon: CAPTAIN!

**Squad 7 Komamura Pork Ribs-Illustration by Tetsuzaemon Iba**


	19. Chapter 19: Comic 33

**Manuscript 33: Operation Thirteen Court Guard Squads Stalls 8 & 9!**

Squad 8

Shunsui: Hmm...what if you made the container two levels with sushi in the top and a drink in the bottom? It'd taste good and be portable. I think it would sell.

Nanao: That's a surprisingly good idea, considering it came from you. Are you feeling well?

Shunsui: What are you talking about, Nanao-chan? These things have to be done well or the gir-it will not only be a disgrace to me but to you as well.

Nanao: Gir? Oh well. Then, about the drink..

~The Head-Captain bashes in the door with his stick thingy~

Head-Captain: That's where 1st Squad's special green tea...

Nanao: Will not be used.

Head-Captain: Is this how you youngsters collaborate these days?

Nanao: No. Please leave.

Squad 9

Shuhei: A stall at the festival? Leave it to me! I can make anything! I'm actually a really good cook!

Nanao: Saying actually doesn't instill confidence. You don't have to show off. Riceballs are fine.

~Shuhei presents riceballs in a bento box with the squad 9 emblem on the lid~

Shuhei: What do you think?

Nanao: I was hoping for something more...you.

Shuhei's thoughts: More...me? What's that mean?

Nanao: Maybe we'll just put a '69' on it. Okay...next.


	20. Chapter 20: Comic 34

**Manuscript 34: Operation Thirteen Court Guard Squads Stalls 10 & 11**

Squad 10

Rangiku: How about...shaved ice?!

Toshiro: Are you crazy? The festival's in the middle of the winter.

Rangiku: So? You don't have any talents other than making ice, do you?

Toshiro: Well, not really. But isn't it a bit weird for a captain to be personally involved in the festival?

Rangiku: Not for us! I know! We can have a bunch of different syrups! Judging by the color, I'd be grape, and you'd be melon soda!

Toshiro: How did you come up with that?

Rangiku: Renji's would be orange, and Ichigo's would be strawberry!

Toshiro: Aren't the colors reversed? Anyway, Kurosaki's not even in the Thirteen Court Guard Squads.

Rangiku: Captain Soi Fon has to be honey-lemon, Captain Ukitake will be green tea, and Captain Kuchiki will be sugar cane!

Toshiro: Call me when you're done.

Squad 11

Yachiru: Mitarashi dango dumplings! We'll sell them like this! By sticking them in a Kenny doll!

~She sticks a bunch of dumplings in a foam Kenpachi head in place of the hair spikes~

Yumichika: Eeww...

Ikkaku: No no no! That won't sell.

Yachiru: We can stick them in your head if you want.

Ikkaku: N-No that's alright.


	21. Chapter 21: Comic 35 The End

**Manuscript 35: Operation Thirteen Court Squad Stalls 12 & 13!**

Squad 12

Mayuri: Twelfth squad will be selling this! POISON CANDY!

1. We mixed poison into the candy! It's apple flavoured!

2. The candy may not seem to work at first, but then the fizzy candy inside will kill you! How appetizing it looks! It's apple flavoured!

3. If the candy doesn't work, the poisonous stick will do you in! It's apple flavoured!

Mayuri: With this, the attendees will be all mine! Heh heh heh!

Nemu: That's genius, sir.

Akon: Write up a denial request. They'll cut our budget again if he murders all the attendees.

Hiyosu: Good point.

Squad 13

Ukitake: How about we make a bag with a picture of us on it?

Sentaro: That sounds great!

Kiyone: Yeah! It's very Squad 13-ish!

Sentaro: Let's go take the picture! We'll get Kuchiki!

Ukitake: Okay, I'll get everyone else!

Kiyone: Everyone...else?

~Ukitake comes back with all the lieutenants and captains (and Ikkaku)~

Ukitake: C'mon, line up! Say 'cheese'!

Someone: Captain Ukitake, we weren't ready!

Ukitake: Ha ha ha sorry let's do it again! What should we put in the bag?

Yachiru: Cotton candy!

Ukitake: You want cotton candy, Kusajishi? Then cotton candy it is!

Sentaro and Kiyone'st thoughts: That has...NOTHING to do with squad 13.

Ukitake: Hey, aren't you going to join us, Kiyone, Sentaro?

PRESENTING: 13th Squad, Thirteen Court Guard Squad Cotton Candy

**A/N: **_**I am very sad to announce that this will be the last chapter of Color Bleach Funnies. It was fun, but all good things must come to an end. :( And besides, I have school starting back up and I need to focus on updating my other chapters.**_

_**-Sakur-chan**_


End file.
